Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
