Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The power of my boobs compel you
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
