i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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