I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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