now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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