Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i now understand why vodka
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
