honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
