buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
