Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
