ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
