You're completely useless in the revolution.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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