i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
