Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize