shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Randomize
