you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
