Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize