My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i think im in europe. pls send help
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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