im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
