remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
