just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize