Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
