I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
