You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
