wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
