we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
