just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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