Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
