Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
