he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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