My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize