i always forget guys have bellybuttons
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
