today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
