You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
