was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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