evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
