Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
