Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize