Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
