4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
