The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize