What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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