I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
