we're blogging at a bar
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize