Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
