is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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