Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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