yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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