i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
