all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
