I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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