HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
