I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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