Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
