You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
