how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
