you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
