The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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