All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
