my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
