Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
