Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize