I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
