Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(421): View more from

And she was only 16?

(1-421): View more from

You say that like it's a bad thing.

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(941): View more from Florida

I was born with a shot glass in my hand

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(415): View more from California

Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.

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(513): View more from Ohio

After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.

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(903): View more from Texas

I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..

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(919): View more from North Carolina

you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

JESUS

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.

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