He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
