Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
