She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
