Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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