We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
