I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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