My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
