when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
