im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
