i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
