I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
