party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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