who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
