Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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