Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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