didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
